i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
