All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
