if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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