Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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