i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
