Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
