I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
