I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize