let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
