yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
