I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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