the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
