I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
