At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize