I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I didn't notice because vodka
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
