Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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