oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
