3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
