Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
