Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
