make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
