just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
my god I love twenty year old dicks
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize