I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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