I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize