So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We got so high we made milksteak
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
