Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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