don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
