dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
thus making me awesome and them whores
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
