I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
