do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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