she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
