hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
