We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
