this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
