i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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