i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize