please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Liz is crying about burritos again.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
