I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
