he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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