so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
