Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
