It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize