they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
