I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
