its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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