I hate your face
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
