yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
