Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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