I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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