My room smells like vodka and shame
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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