hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
