If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
