This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
