Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
