What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
