THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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