On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
