i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
