proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We're too hungover to prance.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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